I went walking this morning, got to a intersection, i wanted to go one way, my toddler wanted to go the other, if the baby had been awake she would have no doubt had her say too..
Getting to a crossroad is like passing through another season or even choosing which way to go in that season..if only this mornings walk had been literal in that sense. Id be happy right about now to change the season my family is in.
In short my head has been in a constant battle with thoughts and feelings lately..ok maybe daily for like the last couple of weeks.. it wasnt until the recent weekend we had away when we went camping and suprise hubby and i got to talk…something that feels like never happens apart from on a “how was work today?” Basis because god forbid you have a meaningful deep conversation when there is kids around #whohastimefordeepshit?
So here we are talking, tossing ideas and thoughts about our current situation and suddenly something just clicked…suddenly i was at peace about everything that i hated the sound of and suddenly im wondering how on earth it was that easy for our heads to go from feeling muddled up, and cloudy having no freaking idea which path to take, suddenly my head was clear like it had been wiped and it all made complete sense….
Yes I sit here and write this and still have a couple of doubts about our recent decisions but you know what… the most part of me is at peace and i think with anything there will always be doubts because were always trying to compare and then fight with pressure its just how it is..its a big season for us making some decisions and for the most part weve been unsure, & fighting everything, a season of no idea. Obviously we still have to ride this season out but for the most part of it we have a little direction, i know which way to go to hopefully help us finish the season .. during all this someone approached me and said the good old favourite “this too shall pass” they were trying to be helpful but man i hate that phrase who wants to hear it when life sucks? Maybe sympathsize with me and youll be my best friend…but no one really knows what to say when they can see how much life sucks for you…so i took it and continued on.
Ahh seasons .. you love them you hate them, some are easy and some are freaking hard!
Whats your season at the moment?
To the mum whose child is teething this is your season
To the mum whose toddler has learnt what a meltdown is this is your season
To the mum who day in day out is dealing with a physically, or mentally ill child this is your season
To the mum trying to find her identity this is your season
To the mum whoses new to this ‘mummy life’ this is your season
To the mum who works, who stays at home or juggles both this is your season
To the mum who has just taken on single life this is your season
To the mum that feels alone this is your season
To the mum reading this….one of these maybe your current season and man its hard..i hear you… theres no escaping were always in a season….they come and they go..
I currently have a teething baby, its almost been a week of clingyness, crying, irratability, no sleep and a toddler that demands attention too… on top of that the battle im fighting within my own head about life..
Before any of you say it.. i know to some a teething baby is nothing, you live with a sick child day in day out, your battle is probably bigger than mine i shall not compare but i see you and your season is hard too.
Were all at differnet stages, going through our own seasons, dealing with different balls being thrown our way. Maybe its guilt because you work to support your family, maybe its because your a stay at home mum..maybe you should clean the house more, maybe you should get your body into shape, maybe you should rid all the suger in your house, maybe you should try a little harder in your marriage, maybe you should just get dressed today…
Maybe you should stop worrying, & stop comparing…but maybe you cant do any of it because its a freaking hard season.
Where you are rignt now, your in a season
– sick children, decision making, marriage failing,
I dont wanna sound like i know it all because i definatly dont and my season still sucks but wow time away helped us we have a new perspective on things and sometimes the sucky season helps you see what you do have and what you can and how easy it is to take things for granted.
My teething baby, im thankful im a stay at home mum I can sit and nurse her all day
Our undesicive few weeks im thankful for because with all the thinking back and forth we now have clear direction by eliminating all those sucky thoughts.
take some time away, go for a walk, dont feel bad about your midday nap, read a book, have a coffee, sit down and talk with someone, ask for help, accept that this season is hard, but most of all find it within yourself to be thankful..
There is something about thankfulness that shifts our perspective from what we do not have, to what we do have.
So although Your season is hard its beautiful too, although your season sucks and you cant see the light, although your season makes you want to cry, although your season is lonely although your season has only started, although your there in the midst of your season dont stand still, cross the road, keep going..
And im not writting this because of my recent revelation, im writting this to me to encourage me and my hubby to keep going i know come 5 years time we will look on this season and remember it because it was that season amongst others that will get us to where we need to be..
Life is unpredictable
It changes with the seasons, even your coldest winter happens for the best of reasons, and though it feels eternal, like all youll ever do is freeze, i promise spring is coming and with it, brand new leaves
Your season is hard but man your season is beautiful.