So what era did you grow up in and what sterotype did it bring with it?
A Marriage before anything
Buying your own house
The saying that the man of the house has to be the bread winner?
Its amazing society creates such absurd ways…. Different eras have been brought up in differing ways and of course each generation has it’s differing stereotypes, issues of that time and their idea of how to live in the most ‘socially acceptable’ way.
Its only been recent but I’ve found mine..
“Oh you look too young to be a mum”
Yep I’m the ‘young mum’ generation apparently…although I don’t consider myself young and maybe I’m not its all I’ve heard of late…. tell them I’m 26…. I’ll be 30 in the blink of an eye…two kids and then watch their brains tick as they do the maths… well well done Einstein my first baby was concieved somewhere between age 22 & 23 is there anything else you want to know love?
Seriously though the last few weeks when I haven’t had children attatched milking me or screaming at me I’ve been questioned what I do and when the mummy title comes up…boy I don’t hear the end of it..
Is there any praise out there for those of us that do it this way? Whatever way it is?
I pretend its a compliment because maybe just maybe it is.. I hope my age never catches up…but to be honest I get slightly offended too…
A recent trip to an appointment caught me off guard when I started being asked my age and how far apart my kids were… its like she was insinuating I had nothing better to do and so I went and got pregnant.. yeah cause I was bored and all…where was my career? Shouldn’t I have studied, lived and then started a family? Who looks after the children.. Where are they now?
I started getting really frustrated and wanted to scream at her to stop with the sly judgement through the 101 questions… it wasn’t right and I felt so awkward… a young mum to me is someone still in school but hey why does that matter to you… to me .. Or to her?
And then I remembered you! All the times I’ve been there judging you silently because of decisions you’ve made as a parent, with a career, or without a partner, or how old/young you are…. I don’t know you, I don’t know your circumstance and who am I to judge?
So here’s my apology… to those of you I have ever judged or to those who have felt judged by other mums let me say I’m sorry..
To the stay at home dad, the working mum, single mum, career focused woman, you’re all doing no doubt an amazing job.. and here’s one to you ‘young mums’ as they call it well done, its not said alot, we’re not praised enough, you made the decision to break the mould have children before a career, maybe it was a surprise, maybe your still in school, maybe your about to hit 30..age doesn’t define the parent you are..
Your a fantastic mum, we’re messy mums, drop out of school mums, somedays we’re shit mums, nuggets and chips mums, we’re 30 something, or 40 something new mums, we’re mums that love our kids to death and we’re just like any other mum…
Remember your age doesn’t define your parenting..you do!