Mum, a title just above queen..

“So what do you do with yourself?” The conversation started at my dentist appointment this week…

Im never caught off guard with this one, its a line im forever repeating when people ask

“Im just a mum” I reply

 the conversation continues something along the lines with how busy i must be whilst we all focus on me the women who portrays herself as ‘just a mum’ i normally try to focus talking about my ratty kids and how its so fun going to the dentist because i get a break but normally there is another question about me and for that sometimes i have to stop and think… 

Its so natural isn’t it though to blurt “im just a mum” yet then we struggle to think when asked about..hobbies, and what we do all day… well im just a mum doesnt the young dental assistant get what that entitles? 

I clean shit up, i make lunch, one goes to sleep just as the other wakes, i mop the lunch mess up, i throw washing in a pile while I’m chasing the toddler around the house screaming and threatning to send her to her room, and then im cleaning shit up again…

Im a mum alright what would make my day sound so riverting that she would be interested?…i get it though in a job like that small talk is necessary..takes the nerves away…something that a strong drink would seriousily do better but hey.

Maybe i should lie then and tell her i went out for coffee, or spent the day sunbaking at the beach, or i went to the gym, maybe she would not only be interested but maybe she may actually think im cool or something 

Ha!

“I took my 3 year old for a swim today” I blurt  cause thats sounds so interesting and all….the conversation continued as i thought it would but the whole way home I couldn’t stop thinking about my the famous line ‘just a mum’ 

I pulled into the garage, my three year old waiting for me waving, comes running out asking about the ‘tooth doctor’ as we call it jumping up and down with excitiment i dont think she really cared as she then proceeded to tell me all about her time with daddy. 

I thought about our day, as i climbed into bed, somedays its seems so mudane, day in, day out but all those moments that make up a day, they make the life you live too.. 

My 3 year old loved that we had one on one time while the baby slept in the pram today, we went for a swim

My three year old sat cuddling me on the couch today for but a few minutes only to jump off and tell me she was hungry 

My three year old turned to me and told me she loved me today

My three year old had a tantrum but then although i made her she still said sorry

 My babys face lit up several times today 

My baby stood for the first time all by herself today 

My girls, they love me, to them somedays im a scraming crazy lady, the next minute im kissing boo boos, only several minuets later to be breaking up a argument…so many roles  to then imply im ‘just a mum’

Im not just..  im their mum

And being a mum too 1, 2 or 5 surely that has to beat anything right? even if you juggle work, your are a single mum, or a stay at home mum…whichever mum you are being ‘just a mum’ doesnt cut it… maybe its what it seems to you but to them they see you – a tired mum, exhausted mum, a happy mum..and all those things that you run around crazy doing for them.. they may sound like their not a big deal, feeding, bathing, dressing, cleaning, a speckle in your day, yet they make up the day, the time spent together, those moments can be a big deal to such a little person because they make you THEIR mum.

And for what it’s worth.. your not JUST!

Jess x 

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Seasons 

I went walking this morning, got to a intersection, i wanted to go one way, my toddler wanted to go the other, if the baby had been awake she would have no doubt had her say too..

Getting to a crossroad is like passing through another season or even choosing which way to go in that season..if only this mornings walk had been literal in that sense. Id be happy right about now to change the season my family is in. 

In short my head has been in a constant battle with thoughts and feelings lately..ok maybe daily for like the last couple of weeks.. it wasnt until the recent weekend we had away when we went camping and suprise hubby and i got to talk…something that feels like never happens apart from on a “how was work today?” Basis because god forbid you have a meaningful deep conversation when there is kids around #whohastimefordeepshit? 

So here we are talking, tossing ideas and thoughts about our current situation and suddenly something just clicked…suddenly i was at peace about everything that i hated the sound of and suddenly im wondering how on earth it was that easy for our heads to go from feeling muddled up, and cloudy having no freaking idea which path to take, suddenly my head was clear like it had been wiped and it all made complete sense…. 
Yes I sit here and write this and still have a couple of doubts about our recent decisions but you know what… the most part of me is at peace and i think with anything there will always be doubts because were always trying to compare and then fight with pressure its just how it is..its a big season for us making some decisions and for the most part weve been unsure, & fighting everything, a season of no idea. Obviously  we still have to ride this season out but for the most part of it we have a little direction, i know which way to go to hopefully help us finish the season .. during all this someone approached me and said the good old favourite “this too shall pass” they were trying to be helpful but man i hate that phrase who wants to hear it when life sucks? Maybe sympathsize with me and youll be my best friend…but no one really knows what to say when they can see how much life sucks for you…so i took it  and continued on.
Ahh seasons .. you love them you hate them, some are easy and some are freaking hard! 

Whats your season at the moment? 

To the mum whose child is teething this is your season

To the mum whose toddler has learnt what a meltdown is this is your season

To the mum who day in day out is dealing with a physically, or mentally ill child this is your season 

To the mum trying to find her identity this is your season 

To the mum whoses new to this ‘mummy life’ this is your season 

To the mum who works, who stays at home or juggles both this is your season 

To the mum who has just taken on single life this is your season 

To the mum that feels alone this is your season 

To the mum reading this….one of these maybe your current season and man its hard..i hear you… theres no escaping were always in a season….they come and they go..

I currently have a teething baby, its almost been a week of clingyness, crying, irratability, no sleep and a toddler that demands attention  too… on top of that the battle im fighting within my own head about life.. 

Before any of you say it.. i know to some a teething baby is nothing, you live with a sick child day in day out, your battle is probably bigger than mine i shall not compare but i see you and your season is hard too.

Were all at differnet stages, going through our own seasons, dealing with different balls being thrown our way. Maybe its guilt because you work to support your family, maybe its because your a stay at home mum..maybe you should clean the house more, maybe you should get your body into shape, maybe you should rid all the suger in your house, maybe you should try a little harder in your marriage, maybe you should just get dressed today… 
Maybe you should stop worrying, & stop comparing…but maybe you cant do any of it because its a freaking hard season.

Where you are rignt now, your in a season

 – sick children, decision making, marriage failing,

I dont wanna sound like i know it all because i definatly dont and my season still sucks but wow time away helped us we have a new perspective on things and sometimes the sucky season helps you see what you do have and what you can and how easy it is to take things for granted.

My teething baby, im thankful im a stay at home mum I can sit and nurse her all day

Our undesicive few weeks im thankful for because with all the thinking back and forth we now have clear direction by eliminating all those sucky thoughts.

  take some time away, go for a walk, dont feel bad about your midday nap, read a book, have a coffee, sit down and talk with someone, ask for help, accept that this season is hard,  but most of all find it within yourself to be thankful..

 There is something about thankfulness that shifts our perspective from what we do not have, to what we do have.  

So although Your season is hard its beautiful too, although your season sucks and you cant see the light, although your season makes you want to cry, although your season is lonely although your season has only started, although your there in the midst of your season dont stand still, cross the road, keep going..

And im not writting this because of my recent revelation, im writting this to me to encourage me and my hubby to keep going i know come 5 years time we will look on this season and remember it because it was that season amongst others that will get us to where we need to be..

Life is unpredictable 

It changes with the seasons, even your coldest winter happens for the best of reasons, and though it feels eternal, like all youll ever do is freeze, i promise spring is coming and with it, brand new leaves

Your season is hard but man your season is beautiful.

Jess x 

Our little bugs

Over the weekend my three year old spotted a worm on our driveway, and of course she had to build a house for it.. 


this morning she was so excited to go see her worm friend only to discover he had gone she was quite upset so we searched the garden for some more bugs until i had a light bulb moment to make our own.

We gathered some pieces, pipe cleaners, paint, pom poms, stick on eyes and of course a egg cartoon. I told little R that we could make our own bugs, quickly making my own to show her what i meant as i was suggesting it.

Once she could see the concept she had a great time in the sun creating her own little bugs.

Of course its not the same as real bugs but after we made them, and let them dry little R played and played with them, built them a house out of rocks and gathered some leaves for them to eat.

Im definatly investing in a bug catcher for her but its also so much fun watching their imagination come alive when they make do with what they have.
Have you collected bugs before? If so what?
Jess x 

Surrounded by a world with so many people yet we feel so lonely.. 

We build fences higher than our houses

We spend money but not time

We talk with our head and not our heart

We crave connection but turn to screens

We have facebook, instagram, twitter, smart phones. We share exciting status updates, photos, videos, quotes, and smiles…were always updating our lives yet…. just like you i admit i feel lonely too.

I crave connection and wonder if i missed the bus somewhere along the line.

I walk to the park, the shops, up the street, to church of all places and wonder if you feel it too.?

Were always watching each other wondering if we should have or could have, comparing the styled homes, & clever kids yet still we say nothing do we fear judgement, rejection, or do we like our lonely lives..?

Truth be told for me i think i judge too much, unintentional i tell myself im not good enough to talk.. not good enough for that group, not good enough to be heard.. how many others tell themselves that too? Therfore missing the opportunity to make that friend, to connect, to feel a little love.

You know at the end of the day though im a mother and you are no doubt too ..  a tired mother, a mother with many children, a mother with one, a mother with a tantrum throwing child, a mother who longs for a night out, a mother who works, a mother who stays at home. Your a married mum, a single mum, your exhausted, your content.. your a mum and just like me your trying to provide and do your best.

What if though these judgements, these perceptions, of how it looks.. isnt really what it is at all.. what if you just put up that wall thinking someone wasnt like you because of what they shared on social media therfore meaning you dont want to and cant connect.. why do we let silly things get in the way… sometimes when we look deeper .. we are the cause our own lonelliness..too scared and too judgemental

Silly judgements.. yet intamacy goes deeper… deeper than the Facebook or instagram picture, that you just judged them by…

Social media is so bad for comparing and making things look better than what they are ..it sucks and i do it all the time…snap snap snap but no one knows or sees the bigger picture and behind that big picture is the mum trying to pull herself together, counting to 10, screaming inside, behind that photo is a mum like me quick to judge yet the first to feel lonely..

Motherhood isnt meant to be journeyed alone… it shouldnt feel lonely but it does.. because we assume, because we judge, because were scared to reach out. 

In such a socially connected world lets stop comparing by the statuses judging by the photos and reach your hand out..

And maybe today..when your out and about like me you will stop with the categorising and you will smile, nod and say hello.. maybe strike a conversation….

It starts with me, with you.. be willing be open who knows you may make someones day..

And Chances are you could make a friend who may just be as lonely as you. 

Jess x

Im no Kardashian but i have a beautiful family so ill take that.

Im thankful for many things..but often when theres a setback im not. 

Weve had two of those in the last 2-3 months..two things we were holding our head high for and excited only to receive a big fat no.. its not doable at this time in your life.. and let me tell you it sucked hearing those words..maybe we should have done things different from the start?… no not at all our story was written this way..because no two stories are meant to be the same.

But you know im a little glad our story went that way because sometimes those things happen for a reason…its like telling you that your on the right path, where your meant to be or headed is right, kinda thing. 

Theres a meme on facebook at the moment about not wishing you had what somebody else had because their probably wanting what you got..its true. 

While i sit over here and dream to be australias next top model… haha thats a big fat joke by the way theres someone over there whose looking back saying wow wish i had settled down already..

I used to get asked all the time when i attended my first year of uni why i married so young…in which i honestly dont think i did i was 21…but you know the people who asked were fresh outta school for them their mind was set on study, a degree.. for me at 21 id fallen in love and we didnt have patience to wait…but why would you wanna wait anyway ..thats a whole other story.

We were married a year and found out we were pregnant..it wasnt how we ‘planned’ it to go.. we wanted to wait a few years before a family, we both wanted to have our two cars paid off and a career under our belt… but obviousily there were other plans for us…whats meant to be will always make a way.

And then the rest is sort of history. Ive always been one thats said if im having kids im having them close together so its done and dusted..we have our reasons so of course 2 years later we had another one. 

Here we are now..weve moved a couple of states, learning to find our way with our little family of two girls while we continue to journey.

 I dont regret how we have done things and dont get the idea im calling my children a setback…. they are the best thing thats happened… yes sometimes i wish i was a millionaore or i studied first, brought a house before kids, gone travelling etc etc but what is done is done…onwards and upwards to the next chapter really. 

Ive learnt not to be ungrateful while im not a kardashian, have the latest style, car or well mannered kids im certainly blessed i have a beautiful family. Im also just quietly thankful that we do have setbacks because Without them we wouldnt know which way to move. 

While yes i dream to have a career under my belt one day..i also know that you dream to have children…. while i watch you study and do all the things you can because your so talented at multi tasking…you dream to be married.. 

We all have things we want and hope for.. dont get un stuck when a setback gets thrown your way, when something doesnt go ‘as planned’… know it means something greater is in store..

Today im blessed because i can sit at the park with my girls… ive got a hard working husband hes not in his dream job, but he earns a living for us.. and for that im grateful.. because without him i wouldnt be here soaking up all the love with my girls! 

No two stories are the same, love your life and what you have! 

Jess x 

Stained glass window

Please tell me im not the only one that turns into a physco when it rains…

Two children who refuse to sleep, yet are ratty and a mum whose had enough.

That was yesterday, i told myself today would be different and quickly thought up a easy set up craft to go too.


The good old stained glass window.

Who cares what they stick on the contact.. as long as their having fun right? 

It was my saviour for the morning!


So my friends if you havent done this before its a sheet of contact and any bits and bobs you can find for them to stick to the contact.

  • Pipe cleaners
  • Wrapping papper
  • Paddlepop sticks
  • Pom poms
  • Scrap paper
  • Old paintings cut into pieces

You can go crazy really..and since miss 3 is learning the scissors she can cut up some of it herself. 


Id love to hear your quick rainy day go to activities?

Jess x 

Our kitchen Sensory tray

This morning was a great morning filled with coffee grounds, cocoa, pasta shells, rice, flour and whatever else we could find in the kitchen. 


We used a ice cube tray to house all these items from the kitchen and thanks to our purchase at ikea last week we had a big box to sit in and go wild mixing, pouring feeling and using our pots, pans cups, spoons, & measuring cups.


My three year old loved it! My six month old wasnt quite to sure at first what to think.she watched her sister mix and pour her ingredients and soon she too was picking up the pasta shells and banging on the pots and pans.


Different textures from the kitchen cupboard made a great sensory play experiance we not only enjoyed feeling them with our hands but smelling them too. 

Have you done anything similar? Would love to hear what it was .

Jess x